In this article I share with you how I got over myself and my body image issues to create music and imagery about my love of bating. I learned how to love myself as I am and quit chasing unrealistic beauty standards. But most importantly, I learned more about myself as a man.

When we were building the BATE FUEL VIDEO site, there were an astonishing 25 different videos featuring me (or a version of me). I turned to my husband and asked “Is this too much of me?” It was a weird question. I’ve been putting myself into my own erotic art for decades, now. People used to flock to my webcam site in the 90s. Why would I be concerned with too much of me at this stage in my life?

This art was different, though. When we began making videos by using AI, we didn’t want to use AI generated men because they looked plastic. We experimented using photographs of me and were pleased enough with the results to experiment further. The early videos from MASC like TOUCH and BROJOB were made by animating photos of me from various stages in my life supplement with current footage. It was like I was able to go back in time and make videos that I should have made then. It was a surreal experience.

But it was also very healing for me to revisit myself as a sexual being again after so many years trying to put my past in making male erotica behind me. Through making videos of myself, I was able to access something I thought had long past and it has made my marriage better and my physical health a priority. In videos I could throw a few extra pounds of muscle onto me and see what I would look like if I really pushed myself at the gym. I also had to reckon with my age and how I have gotten older while celebrating my life. And I am sure that comes through in the videos.

When I started sharing these videos I got criticism that it was narcissistic or that I was too old to be doing this. Or that I wasn’t hot enough to be dancing around naked, especially at my age. You really can never win with these people. What was I supposed to do? Feel bad about myself and who I really was? Others complained that any use of AI was breaking an unspoken creative contract and that as an artist I shouldn’t be using it at all for a variety of reasons. A very hot and nice OnlyFans creator reached out to me, said he loved what I was doing and he told me not to take that criticism to heart. He said that some people will find you attractive and others won’t. Don’t pay attention to the ones that don’t like you. They are not your audience.

So I started muting and blocking any and all non-constructive criticism or people there to just complain about my use of AI. And my attractiveness was not really the point of it anyway. I feel like any man who can own his body and sexuality the way it is is hot. And if others found me attractive, it would just be a bonus for them. This work was a story about myself and my body that I wanted to tell using my body and image, even if it was a highly stylized and a fantasy version of myself. I loved making these types of erotic music videos and I wanted to work with real men again, someday. This was like reopening a gift that I had shoved in a box long ago.

We had planned to use this feature with other real men. Taking real photographs of real men (with their consent, of course) and then creating really cool music videos that incorporate live footage with AI generated footage. We made several videos with myself as the subject this way. Back then, Grok would let you animate pictures of yourself in sexy and erotic ways. The problem was that others used it to animate people without their consent. And Grok removed the “spicy mode” for uploaded photographs. We understand why, but still it sucks for those of us who wanted to make eroic art featuring real people…and ourselves.

To date we have been able to collaborate with a few guys who became anonymous “stunt cocks” but making music and music videos is work. And we probably work a little too hard to bring these creations to life. Most guys seem to want to make porn over erotica but thanks to these early experiments, we built a foundation and visual language about what a male erotic music video could be. We weren’t the first to do this. Black Spark made several erotic music videos in the early 2010s featuring twinks and closeups of bareback sex. They are extremely hot and beautiful. But he used songs by other artists in his creations. For our videos, we felt using our own music and telling our own stories was important. Black Spark had the perspective of youth and we have the perspective of maturity.

MASC was really about my journey of sexual awakening and it made sense to have me in the videos. My husband opted not to be in the videos for a variety of reasons including his family. I respected that. But since I wasn’t a male model or really muscular or built, it was accessible and real. I could also provide real shots of myself for things that the AI couldn’t or refused to do. Mainly real shots of real dick and cumshots. I used myself as an experiment.

We had played around with eroticism in videos but when we came up with the song B8, we knew there would have to be actual bating in it. The song itself is about a guy that doesn’t want to have sex, he only wants to masturbate with other men. I myself have a lengthy history of being a bator but I also like having sex. I am not strictly a solosexual.

The video stars a slightly younger version of myself from about a decade ago but I don’t look all that different. At the time of the video, I had long hair and a beard so I couldn’t use my face, but I could use my dick and body. We decided to just make a video with hard dick and bating in it. And then we could edit it out later for YouTube. So we came up with the concept of it being a photo shoot and included imagery of snakes to stand in for the penis. We believe in putting symbols and archetypes in these videos to communicate on a subconscious level. We’re artists to our core and even though we wanted to have the impact of cock and cum, we wanted to music and the imagery to hit a man in places he might not be aware of.

The first draft of the B8 video was pretty tame and my husband encouraged me to go all in. “Show it all,” he said. It’s a song about bating, so that’s what I did. What resulted was a grungy, sexy and dirty music video. We posted a version of it to YouTube (now deleted, but you can see it here) and it became our highest viewed video that we had ever made. And it got attention from the bator community almost immediately.

Now, at the time, we had no idea about bate music. Since my time away from being a bator, the culture had changed immensely. B8 got promoted on bate sites and bator/gooner communities and we were struck by just how many men were connecting with it. The official music video was on YouTube getting lots of views and the guys who loved it wanted to see the more explicit version. We posted a B8 (BATE MORE Remix) video on BoyFriendTv and it amassed an astonishing 48,500 views at last count. You can see that version here on the BATE FUEL VIDEO site.

We continued to make videos for MASC and had to adjust our vision severely when the Grok restrictions hit. We had planned on making more erotic videos with me and some other real men but that became impossible due to those restrictions. In fact, it sort of ruined the realistic and “professional amateur” vibe we were going for. They did not remove spicy mode for images that Grok itself generated. So instead of real men, we were going to have to create our own.

After we completed MASC MANIFESTO, we wanted to make a remix collection featuring B8 and other bate music specifically for bators who had lavished us with attention for B8 and BONER, another song from MASC. We wrote some new songs for the collection but they were so good that we decided to just make a whole new album of bate music and we titled it BATE FUEL.

B8 remains one of our favorite songs and music videos and we have made plenty of versions of it all based on the original explicit music video which we never shared until recently. You can see it here below or you can watch it on the BATE FUEL VIDEO site.

B8 changed my life because it brought me back to passions that I had long forgotten. It got me back into my body through eroticism. It showed me that a man is never too old to explore his sexuality and that it’s important for mature men to revisit their youth if only in fantasy. I don’t desire to look younger or be younger. I like who I am today. But seeing myself in different sexual situations I never would have been in was so freeing to me. I wish every man could experience what I experienced in making these erotic videos.

So yeah, there are ALOT of videos featuring me but I am my own subject first. I would never ask another guy to do anything I wouldn’t do myself. And now that I have shown as much of myself as I possibly can, I am happy and excited to work with other real men. And give them the gift that I was given through this art and music.

B8 (Explicit Version)