So you want to get into cam bating and don’t know where to start or what to do or even where to go? You might have some questions. “What kind of equipment do I need? What if I am shy? Can I just look and not participate?” In this article, I am going to share with you a great setup and some tips on how to have a great cam bating experience with other interested adult men. And also a little bit about how I got over body image issues that were preventing me from relaxing and having a good time. Because that is what it is all about. Cam bating can be really fun.
First of all, men masturbate. It is a perfectly healthy way to release some pent up sexual energy. A healthy man with a healthy libido will want to discharge this pretty regularly. Whether a man is straight or gay or in between, he’ll want to dump his load on the regular. This is because a man’s sexual energy is never really extinguished. And it shouldn’t be. A man’s sexual energy contributes to other areas of his life. An integrated sexuality can boost confidence and self-esteem. It can make him disciplined in other areas of his life. This is because shame over sex and sexuality wastes a lot of energy that could be spent on other things like reaching goals or being a better partner in a relationship.
Cam bating serves two functions really well: building connections and eradicating shame. It’s not mindlessly jerking off to porn. Bating with a bro (or a group of bros) is about connecting with another live human. Some men feel intense shame after jerking off alone to a porn. They have reported this to me. But when two men bate together (even with a screen and hundreds of miles between them) the connection is real. Two men bating together on cam share an intimate time together and it can be just as real as being in person.
Getting naked on cam with another man can be really freeing. Not only is it hot, but it can be quite profound when another man witnesses another man hard and leaking and unashamed. Sites like Chaturbate and cam performer sites can let us look and witness, but actually being witnessed yourself is a really healing thing. Shame and toxicity melt away.
For many men it’s just hot and they don’t think about it all that much. But the power of seeing and being seen cannot be denied. It integrates your sexuality as long as it is done with that purpose. Bating with your bros (or just bating itself) doesn’t have to be shameful and it can be quite liberating. I consider it a practice just as important as meditating or going to the gym.
If you have decided you want to get into cam bating and take this practice to the next level, you might want to use a computer with two screens and a seperate webcam. You can use a mobile phone and for many men this is a necessity because they get no privacy. But for a man that has his own space, using a computer with two screens enhances the experience and lets him be more in control of camera angles and framing.
LAPTOP, MOBILE OR DESKTOP
However a man chooses to present himself is up to him. In the examples portrayed in this article (viewable to logged in age-verified members) you can see a guy using his laptop camera on a bed, a guy using the back view of his mobile phone. a guy using a full-length mirror and a guy using his laptop camera on the couch. All of these methods give a man a single screen to work with. The mobile experience is the most limiting but it’s fine for quick sessions and bating with a single bro.
Apps and websites are easier to use on a computer and a laptop with an attached webcam on a tripod is a perfect way to show your whole body face and all. But to unlock the full range of cam bating possibilities, a desktop computer with an attached webcam is a great way to relax and unwind without juggling a phone or straining to see on a screen that might be far away. A man can show as little or as much as he wants. He can position the camera directly on his cock for an under the desk view. Or he can place the camera slightly above him for a top-down view that shows more of his body. Or he can place the camera directly in front of his cock so that it fills the screen.
A computer with one monitor is great but adding an extra monitor can open more possibilities. He can be on multiple cam sites at the same time or be enjoying a hot porn while he bates with his bros. If he has a comfortable chair that also reclines, he can really let go and focus on the task at hand. Getting a computer just for bating might be too big of an investment, but if this practice becomes something more than just a quick nut, crafting a bate station that is more like a sanctuary will feel like a necessity.
For a computer set up, a man can just be on display while also bating and relaxing in his own space.
HOW MUCH TO SHOW OR NOT SHOW
There are real privacy concerns for men. Some have jobs and public lives where if naked pictures or footage of them bating got out, it could be disastrous for them. Some men might be in relationships where they don’t want their partner to know of their cam bating habits. Some guys might not be out to their friends and families so they may not want their bating practice exposed to those who wouldn’t understand. This is why we never pressure or force other men to show more than they are comfortable with.
Cam bating sites are usually only populated with other men who are interested in bating with other men. Most of these sites undergo age verification so it’s unlikely that a friend or family member will stumble across your activities unless they live with you. Or if they are also interested in bating with other men and happen to be on the same site at the same time as you.
For men in committed relationships, we believe in being honest with your partner. It sucks to live under the constant threat of being found out and hiding any part of yourself leads to shame and resentment. We know several straight men that enjoy cam bating and their wives and girlfriends know. For men in relationships with other men, often internet stuff is not considered cheating. But we believe that honesty is always the best policy. Have the uncomfortable conversations if you can.
I had to have that uncomfortable conversation with my own husband when I wanted to get back into cam bating after a 7 year absence. He knew I wasn’t trying to meet other men for sex or leave him so he supported and encouraged me, even though it was weird at first. Needless to say, we got through the weirdness and now enjoy a more honest and closer intimate relationship because I don’t have to hide anything from him. He gets to experience all of me from the devoted and loving husband to the guy that likes to get dumb on his dong with men on the internet. We’re closer than we’ve ever been.
Body Image and Loving Yourself
Getting back into cam bating also meant getting my body presentable again. After getting married, I had kind of let myself go. Knowing that I was going to be on cam encouraged me to get back into the gym and to start taking my health seriously. I wanted to have a slim body and trim waist that perfectly framed my heavy cock. Bators and gooners are really accepting of all ages and body types but the confidence is what is really sexy. A hot body is not required but I want to be pleasing to the men I bate with so I use it as an opportunity to get in better shape. Knowing I am going to be on cam pushes me at the gym to do more reps.
But getting out of my head and into the body would prove quite the challenge. I kept overthinking it all and it killed my boner and vibe. At first I only showed my cock up close but later started showing my whole body. I had a hard time dropping the performance of it all and was overly concerned with how I looked on camera. I would take it personally if men stopped watching me. I downplayed my age and didn’t think other men wanted to see a man in his fifties jerk off (I was wrong about that for sure). At some point I decided to go all in and truly get over myself.
I accepted my age, my face and my body type through cam bating. I stopped comparing myself to other men who had bigger dicks or tighter bodies and decided to just own myself for who I was. I certainly didn’t judge other men and their bodies as harshly as I judged myself. The first time I got bate coached on cam by another man was a scary and thrilling experience. It was the first time I showed both my face and cock on camera at the same time since I was in my 20s.
I started showing my full face and body in public cam rooms. I started really getting out of my head and into my body. Each time I appeared fully naked on camera, another layer of shame was removed. Am I concerned at my pictures and videos might get out or seen by people who don’t understand? Not really. Not anymore. I have finally reached that place where I don’t have much shame about my body and bating life. I don’t care who sees me naked or who might see me cumming or beating off. I love who I am as a cockstroker. Plus I think I make cute faces and look good for my age. And I love my own cock and pits and I think they are worth sharing.
For men getting into cam bating, working through all of these issues is easier with a hard cock in your hand. Men who are turned on are kind of fearless. I encourage men to get into cam bating and go all in. Not because I want to see them naked, but because I want them to see themselves naked and turned on without shame. And share in the bonding brotherhood experience of men being men together. Know the benefits, risks and potential consequences of cam bating. Because it’s really about connecting with yourself first and doing it with other men is the icing on the cake.
There are men that will really be into you and other men that won’t think you are attractive. Don’t focus on the ones that don’t think you are hot. If you feel like you could get into better shape. go right ahead. If you want to expose a little or a lot, it’s up to you. If you share videos and pictures of yourself bating they are probably going to get swapped and shared and that is part of the culture. Men not giving a fuck who sees them cumming and the confidence of knowing that they look good while doing it. Seeing another man cum is beautiful and cumming with another man on camera is sublime.
It’s about having fun
As psychologically and physically rewarding cam bating is, it is also a lot of fun. And that is the keyword here. It’s about slowing down and really enjoying your make body and other male bodies. It’s about witnessing yourself and other men in their most intimate moments. Men need to be seen in order to heal. And healing shame around masculine sexuality is the primary reason I do it. It’s a celebration of masculine sexuality and it connects us all as men.
For a list of cam sites to bate with other men, check out this article.